Cassian's standing within the expedition had undergone an upheaval.
He'd shown the self-sacrificing spirit of letting the monsters drag him off in Onon's place (though in truth he'd been knocked unconscious in an ambush while trying to save Onon), had single-handedly slain dozens of beasts (Ollia had spread that around), and had come back having rescued both the mage who'd been the expedition's objective and Ollia himself, who'd been swept up in a landslide (this too, Ollia had let slip with a touch of exaggeration).
Even granting a small dose of additives, it was a fact that the missing Cassian had cut down dozens of monsters on his own and had found the mage of the "Dawn Knowledge" and won his favor.
So they showed him tremendous interest, as though they'd never once looked down on him.
“How'd you take on that many monsters without even sword aura? Is there a secret?”
“Did Squad Leader Asimo pass down some special technique to you? Can't you tip me off a little too?”
“I saw back there that you're good at maintaining gear, too. Did you fit something special onto your sword?”
“Let's have a spar sometime when you're free. I won't fight dirty like that Milli did.”
Because of it, Cassian had to endure the knights all day long. Undaunted by his curt replies and his silences, they tried every way they could to uncover the secret of his strength.
Their favor was, after all, proportional to the power a person held. Men overflowed around him, secretly slipping him a hunk of jerky to get on friendlier terms, or promising to stand watch in his stead.
In the end, Cassian could only escape those brawny men by using the excuse that Ollia was looking for him.
I can't get any proper rest.
It was hard to accept that the sun had gone down while he'd been hounded by the knights. He'd merely tried to come back alive, and he couldn't understand why that process had gotten them so worked up.
Carrying his fatigue and his questions, Cassian looked over the tents that had been pitched for the time being.
Ever since Taylor's search party returned, Ollia had been tending to the wounded without pause.
It was obvious he was overexerting himself again without looking after his own body, so Cassian meant to make him eat the jerky the knights had slipped him, even if he had to force it on him.
And so, into the tent he entered in search of Ollia.
“Hrgh, Priest... I'm so tormented, so afraid...”
“It's all right, Sir Sila. This place is safe.”
At the sight that revealed itself before him, a crack formed between Cassian's brows.
“What could my lost memories be? Just how horrible was the thing that happened to me?”
“Let's try to recall it together. You'll be able to.”
“Ah, I'm trembling with fear...!”
A knight lying on a makeshift sickbed was cradled in Ollia's arms, pouring out his fear however it came to him.
The man had his arms wrapped tight around Ollia's slender waist, his face buried in his chest, rubbing it back and forth and savoring his scent. His expression was contorted as if consumed by dread, but his half-open eyes glistened with a satisfaction he couldn't hide.
Watching that spectacle, Cassian's eyes turned cold.
“Priest.”
“...Cassian? What brings you here?”
As though Cassian's visit delighted him greatly, Ollia beamed and welcomed him. The moment Sila, held in his arms, saw Cassian, he squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away.
Not taking his gaze off that chestnut-brown back of a head, Cassian approached Ollia.
“Why is this man carrying on like this?”
“Ah, Sir Sila? I don't know if you heard, but the last three missing men Sir Taylor brought back all lost their memories of the time they went missing. I healed their wounds, but the fear over the memory loss doesn't seem to fade. They only settle down when someone holds them.”
“Is that so?”
Answering flatly, Cassian abruptly reached out and seized Sila by the scruff of the neck. And before Ollia could even react, he hauled Sila up with one hand and shoved his face into his own chest.
“Then I'll hold him.”
“Mmph, mmmph!”
Suppressing Sila's resistance by sheer force, he pressed down on the back of Sila's head hard enough to make breathing difficult. Watching this, Ollia's eyes went wide.
That lucky bastard!
He wished Cassian would hold him that mercilessly too. Feeling a subtle jealousy, he shot Sila a sidelong glance, and Cassian held out the jerky he'd brought.
“You haven't eaten anything, have you, since you've been treating the knights this whole time? At least have this. I'll bring you dinner too once I've made it.”
“Wow, thank you! Aren't you tired? Once I'm done treating over here, I'll look you over again too.”
“I'm fi... No, then I'll leave that to you.”
At the meek acceptance, Ollia smiled brightly. Had he refused, Ollia had been ready to get down on his knees and beg him to please accept his divine power.
After all, going through this regression had made him keenly aware of just how important it was to raise Cassian's Divine Power Absorption.
He'd always considered it important, but the helplessness of that time, when he couldn't heal Cassian even as he lay dying right before his eyes, wouldn't leave him.
No, "helplessness" wasn't the right word. It had been a terror closer to despair, an emptiness greater than loss.
It was only because the situation was so urgent that he'd been able to put action ahead of feeling. Had he dwelled on it any longer, he might have taken a heavy mental blow and collapsed.
It was an experience he never wanted to repeat.
What was there to hesitate over? Ollia was even considering a method of wounding Cassian directly and then repeatedly pouring divine power into him.
“But Cassian, Sir Sila isn't moving? Aren't you holding him a little too tightly?”
This wasn't out of envy. He really was asking because Sila had gone limp and wasn't budging at all.
Only then did Cassian peel Sila off his firm chest, and after checking the face with its eyes rolled back, unconscious, he laid him back down on the bed.
“Looks like he's finally settled. Let's leave him to sleep.”
No matter how you looked at it, he didn't seem to have simply fallen asleep.
After confirming that Sila was breathing properly, Ollia closed his eyes for him, then led Cassian out of the tent.
“Let's do it here.”
“Why go out of your way to do it outside? It'll be cold.”
Furrowing his brow, Cassian ran a disapproving look over Ollia, who was bundled in about five layers of overcoats. At that, Ollia hurriedly rummaged through his pockets and pressed a couple of cold-warding magic tools into Cassian's hands.
“Are you very cold? Inside the tent there's no telling when the knights will wake, so I can't touch you as much as I'd like, right?”
At Ollia, who voiced his desire so shamelessly with a worried face, Cassian let out a sigh as if dumbfounded.
“I meant that you looked like you'd be cold, not me. Take them back.”
Returning the items to Ollia's pocket, already packed full of cold-warding magic tools, Cassian held out his hand. Grabbing that hand at once and pulling it close, Ollia pressed the warm, rough palm to his own cheek.
“To be able to feel your warmth like this again, I'm so glad.”
Opening his divine power right away, Ollia crinkled his eyes endearingly. That honest face, revealing his affection with all his heart, sparkled especially beautifully atop the white field of snow.
Reflexively pulling his gaze away from that face, Cassian lowered his eyes.
Stealing glances at his strangely stiff expression, Ollia rubbed his cheek against the large palm.
“Cassian, are you angry, by any chance?”
“What...?”
“Even if it was an unavoidable situation, I did try to kill you... Are you disappointed?”
Slightly lowered brows, a gaze that wavered as if reading his reaction, a hand gripping tight as though clinging to him. Confirming the priest's pitiable face, Cassian parted his lips.
“For me to feel disappointment over the fact that you tried to kill me, hasn't too much already happened between us?”
“...”
“Don't let it bother you.”
He studied him carefully, checking whether any resentment or anger lay hidden in that flat tone.
Does he really not care?
Of course, in the course of accepting Cassian as a hero, he had killed him dozens of times, but after making him a hero he'd tried by every means not to let him regress. It seemed that effort had meant little to Cassian.
Then... would it be all right to check?
Finding no notable displeasure in Cassian, Ollia hesitantly called his name.
“Hey, Cassian.”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask you one favor?”
His tone was cautious, but in those violet eyes flickered an impatience he couldn't conceal. At that catlike face with its pupils dilated as if about to pounce at any second, Cassian sent him a suspicious look.
“About what?”
“Actually, it's something that kept nagging at me both before and after the regression... The 'authority.'”
“...”
“I want to make sure it's still properly intact. Of course, since the regression succeeded, there's a good chance the authority is safe too, but still...”
Before he killed Cassian, the thing that had contributed most to Ollia's fear was the failure of the regression.
And the next most frightening thing was the release of the authority.
To Ollia, the man called Cassian was a hero molded out of uncertainty.
He shared the memories of the regression, the stone tablet couldn't display proper text on matters connected to him, and stats that should have been fixed could grow at any time.
Because he was a figure to whom Ollia's common sense didn't apply, he found himself verifying, every single time, the parts he'd always taken for granted and never checked.
“Would that not be all right...?”
Because he knew Cassian felt uneasy about the use of the authority, he was all the more cautious. He almost thought he could hear the sound of his invisible Affection being chipped away.
When he looked up at Cassian with the most pitiful expression he could manage, Cassian, meeting his eyes, said in a low voice.
“Even without a thing like that, I wouldn't ever betray you.”
