The cock of Da-woon's head deepened by degrees as he waited for Ryu Tae-ha's answer. Slowly blinking his round, chestnut eyes, Da-woon thought to himself.
Huh, look at this bastard.
The man who'd been rattling on so smoothly, so brazenly, had gone quiet in an instant. Ryu Tae-ha's lips, frozen beneath a faded smile, showed no sign of moving, exactly like someone who'd been struck dumb.
So even this shameless guy gets caught off guard sometimes.
“Why are you so shocked? It's not even a hard question.”
It was surely the kind of question the real Jung Da-woon would have asked countless times already. If anything, he'd probably overused it so much that Da-woon had expected him to take it lightly and answer offhandedly.
But the reaction that came back was nothing like he'd anticipated.
“...It's shocking enough.”
After a baffling silence, Ryu Tae-ha finally spoke and rubbed his jaw. Then, with a contemplative face that wasn't like him at all, he stared at Da-woon and asked something Da-woon never saw coming.
“Did I confuse you?”
Ryu Tae-ha's expression turned more serious than ever before. Thrown off by this attitude he'd never seen, Da-woon's lips parted soundlessly.
“Sorry...?”
“Why are you suddenly asking that? Which part confused you?”
When the question came flying back the other way, this time it was Da-woon who lost his words. He'd been overpowered by Ryu Tae-ha's momentum.
“Is that why you've been acting strange lately? Because you thought I don't like you?”
“No! No. That's absolutely not it.”
He denied it firmly before the conversation could veer into some ridiculous conclusion.
“I just... I'm asking to make sure.”
To make sure? Echoing Da-woon's words, Ryu Tae-ha pulled up one corner of his mouth.
“Isn't that a little out of the blue? We've been sleeping together for years, and now you want to make sure?”
Just answer yes or no, why does he have to dig into it like this? Da-woon dragged a dry hand down his face against the fatigue washing over him, and asked once more, seriously.
“I'm asking if you like me, not my body. Whether you'd like me even without doing that.”
“That what? Sex?”
Da-woon bit down on his lip and nodded. At that, Ryu Tae-ha's eyebrows crumpled theatrically.
“Why would we skip something that good?”
He wore a face of despair, as if he'd just heard a prophecy that the world was about to end. Watching him toss aside his seriousness so quickly, Da-woon let out a sigh.
“Just answer me properly. Drop the joking around.”
“You know I'm a corpse without it.”
“I don't know that.”
Da-woon warned that if Ryu Tae-ha had no intention of having a real conversation, he'd go into his room. Only then did Ryu Tae-ha calmly let his smile settle, laying both hands over his chest.
“There's never been a time I didn't like you, Da-woon. Not once.”
His voice, stripped of laughter, rang out with considerable weight.
“I like you a lot.”
His expression, too, was serious in its own way. He had the face of someone gazing not at a sex partner, but at a beloved lover.
If Da-woon hadn't known the contents of the novel, he might have believed the confession outright.
But to Da-woon, who already knew everything this man had done, belief didn't come easily.
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I mean it.”
Reading the clear suspicion laced through Da-woon's question, Ryu Tae-ha answered with even more weight.
“I mean it every single moment.”
...And a guy like that says he'll personally pick out another partner for you?
What kind of lunatic says that to someone he genuinely likes? It was a remark no one with their head screwed on straight would ever make.
“Because I genuinely like you, Da-woon, I respect every one of your opinions too.”
Ryu Tae-ha added it as though he'd read Da-woon's inner thoughts. Da-woon, who'd been cursing him on the inside, narrowed his eyes a fraction at the very same moment.
So because he genuinely liked Jung Da-woon, he'd accept the decision to find a new partner too? In the name of respect?
It seemed Ryu Tae-ha's idea of liking someone was distinctly different from everyone else's. As you'd expect from a guy whose lower half ran free, his way of thinking was bizarre too.
Then again, the very novel he starred in had been content that strayed quite far from common sense. Instead of trying to understand Ryu Tae-ha, Da-woon chewed over the man's peculiar personality and sexual tastes and pressed on with his questions.
“Then... do you like me more than Ryu Jin?”
This time too, Ryu Tae-ha's answer didn't come right away.
“...”
But his reaction was clearly different from when he'd been struck speechless. From the displeasure that surfaced on his face, it was plain to feel that he'd shut his mouth on purpose.
“Isn't that a conversation that ended a long time ago?”
Taking half a step back, Ryu Tae-ha swept his hair up. Da-woon, who had no memory of any such conversation with him, simply listened in silence.
This conversation they were having now was content that hadn't appeared in the novel.
“We promised each other before we started this. We even swore not to ask questions like that.”
Thorns sprouted in Ryu Tae-ha's gaze, which had been circling with nothing but gentle affection. Watching him bristle in an instant, Da-woon calmly opened his mouth.
“I'm sorry for breaking the oath.”
It was an oath he couldn't even remember, but since he was told he'd broken it, he apologized.
“But I wanted to check again. Seeing the way you treat me, leader, I got a little confused.”
Pressing firmly at the corners of his eyes as though to push down the thorns growing there, Ryu Tae-ha faced Da-woon. To that gaze, which seemed to ask what had confused him, Da-woon spoke in a tone as calm as his expression.
“It looked like you liked only me, leader.”
Unlike in the novel, he didn't look like a man who poured all his love and attention onto his younger brother alone. Nor did he seem to treat Jung Da-woon as a mere tool for relieving his urges.
“Da-woon.”
Leaning his body against the door frame, Ryu Tae-ha slowly dragged a hand down his face.
“I like you a lot. I have no intention of taking another partner besides you. No intention of dating, either.”
Easing his sharp expression, he reached out a hand from habit. Just before it touched Da-woon's hand, Tae-ha faltered for a moment, then drew his arm back again and murmured softly.
“But no matter how much I like you, my brother comes first.”
So, Da-woon's expression turned subtle at the words that followed, small as a thing muttered to oneself.
“Don't bring up Ryu Jin's name.”
“...”
“This is a conversation that's already over. I'm asking you.”
Closing his lips, which had parted slightly, Da-woon met Ryu Tae-ha's gaze with a hardened look.
He could vividly feel exactly how this man had treated Jung Da-woon all this time.
“Is that really a request? To my ears it sounds like a warning.”
Da-woon mimicked him, wearing a false smile of his own, and spoke as if jabbing at him. It was an attitude Jung Da-woon would never have shown. After all, he'd have lived flailing and clawing to win the heart of the one he loved by any means.
Ryu Tae-ha gave no answer at all. He merely let his well-cultivated smile grow and took another half step back.
“Yeah, you're right.”
Right about what? Just as Da-woon was crumpling his brow, Ryu Tae-ha launched into some out-of-nowhere self-reflection.
“If your feelings for me cooled, Da-woon, I'd have nothing to say.”
“...”
“I understand it all. Because I understand, I'm not holding onto you.”
The man who'd been stubbornly standing guard before Da-woon's door created a teleportation gate behind his back.
“I know perfectly well I have no right to.”
Wearing his characteristic languid smile, he left of his own accord with a parting word for Da-woon to rest up well.
“...Hah.”
The moment he vanished, Da-woon burst out with a loud, incredulous laugh.
“What's with the act, playing it cool? A guy who clings the second he gets the chance.”
Muttering to himself as if dumbfounded, he stepped into the room. Setting the tangled feelings aside, Da-woon was making his way toward the bed where the cat lay fast asleep when he suddenly looked at the door.
“...”
The moment he thought someone had called for him.
Let's just not date, though.
All at once, the sound of an unfamiliar conversation rang in Da-woon's ears.
Da-woon, you understand? It means let's just be sex partners from here on.
Why...?
I'm not confident I can cherish you as much as my brother. And I don't want to.
Stunned, Da-woon's lips quivered. What on earth was this conversation?
With a face dyed in bewilderment, he could only blink at the empty air. The owners of the voices ringing in his ears were Ryu Tae-ha and Jung Da-woon. But the contents of the conversation were something Da-woon had never experienced.
In that case, this was... it had to mean these were the memories of Jung Da-woon, the owner of this body.
From now on, there will definitely be times you feel hurt by me because of my brother. A whole lot of them.
After the sound came vivid sensation as well. Da-woon immediately recognized that the cold feeling stroking his cheek was Ryu Tae-ha's hand.
If you think that's going to be a problem, let's not start. I don't want to hurt you. And I'd rather my brother never have anything to feel awkward about later, either.
I'm... fine. I don't care if I get hurt.
Jung Da-woon's voice, smeared with weeping, trembled wretchedly. He even made a promise he could never keep, saying he'd be good to the younger brother too.
I like you, leader. I can do anything, anything at all, really.
After the cheek, he felt a cold palm on his back as well. Sweeping his hand down Jung Da-woon's back, Ryu Tae-ha whispered in a smaller voice.
I'm not the great, good person everyone thinks I am. If anything, I'm the opposite.
I don't care. You're a good person to me.
Da-woon.
You can take care of your brother alone, that's fine. Don't worry about me, just live for your brother. But... only have sex with me.
The rims of Da-woon's eyes reddened as he focused on the phantom voices. It was because, along with Jung Da-woon's memories, an assimilation of emotion had occurred too.
Pressing a hand to his aching chest, Da-woon sank down onto the floor. With no time even to be startled by the sudden situation, he was preoccupied just holding back the tears welling up.
Then let's just be sex partners. If you want, I'll go as far as playing the part of a lover for you.
Da-woon's head, having barely held back the tears, sank down toward the floor.
If you don't want it, refuse. I'm fine even if I don't do this with you.
Ryu Tae-ha's words, lodging cruelly into him, gouged at Jung Da-woon's heart. The same pain carried over to Da-woon, who'd become one body with him.
“...Hk. Hic.”
Unlike Jung Da-woon, who wept aloud for all the world to hear, Da-woon clamped a hand over his mouth and only let thick teardrops fall, drop by drop. Having finally spilled the tears he couldn't hold back any longer, he was again wearing a face sunk deep in thought.
It seemed there was far more content that hadn't appeared in the novel than he'd imagined, much more.
Even while shedding dizzying amounts of tears, Da-woon resolved that he had to dig up the story he hadn't known.
Just as Yeo-ul had his reasons for becoming a villain, he figured Ryu Tae-ha must have his own circumstances too. There was bound to be something.
And if there wasn't, he could just never see a crazy bastard like that again, and that would be that.
