Han Sawon took a deep breath.
I'm an office worker...
So it was fine to have a coworker you disliked. Was there any office worker who didn't have at least one coworker they hated? That'd be more of a sign you needed to see a doctor, or so Han Iwon had said.
"Hey. They say half the people in the world dislike you. In other words, it's normal for you to dislike half the world too. So there's someone at work you hate? Completely normal. There's someone at work who hates you? Completely, completely normal!"
So even in an idol group of barely five members, wasn't it perfectly normal to have a bastard who hated you and who you hated to death? Han Sawon had already made peace with that.
It had been nearly three years since debut, and he was starting to join the ranks of seasoned artists. What had gotten him through that period was exactly that kind of self-rationalization.
You don't avoid shit because you're scared of it. You avoid it because it's filthy.
That was how Han Sawon established his stance toward Choi Seju, the coworker and fellow member who he "hated to death" and who "hated him to death."
Ignore. And then, thorough ignoring.
"Sawon. So about that trip I mentioned last time..."
"Oh. Yeah."
Sawon snapped back to attention. A petite woman was sitting across from him. She was a fan who came to fan signs fairly often, so she was a familiar face.
This won't do. He was in the middle of work right now, and the person in front of him was, strictly speaking, a customer. A VIP customer who cared deeply about him and had spent a significant amount of money, no less.
After a brief moment of thought, Sawon continued the conversation.
"You said you went to Guam, right? Did you have fun?"
"Whoa. Sawon. You remembered? Yeah... I went to Guam and..."
In this respect, being an idol was similar to being in the service industry. Fan sign attendance was supposedly determined by album purchase volume, but at the end of the day, it was a market of regulars where the same people kept coming back.
Remembering regular customers was essential. It was also the reason Han Sawon, who wasn't great at memorizing faces, had struggled in his early debut days.
But there was nothing in the world you couldn't get used to. By now, memorizing the faces of frequent fans was a given, and he'd even developed enough smooth banter to proactively bring up information he'd remembered.
"Time's up! Please move along!"
"Sawon. It was so great seeing you after so long. You know you're my favorite, right? Let's meet again?"
"Yeah. Let's meet again. I was really happy to see you after so long too."
The time limit per member at a fan sign was about one minute. Fans would get an autograph, have a brief conversation, then move on to the next member beside them.
At the staff's signal that time was up, Sawon let out a sigh of relief. Only on the inside, of course, without letting it show.
He'd done well over a hundred fan signs by now, counting by numbers alone, but today he was feeling unusually exhausted. But he couldn't show it in front of the fans. Han Sawon maintained his smile and greeted the next fan. To say it again, this was his job.
It might be a bit tougher than usual today, but with three years of experience under his belt, he could handle this much.
That is, if someone's voice hadn't reached his ears right at that moment.
"You went to Guam? Sounds like it wasn't that fun, though?"
Normally, he'd be so focused on the fan in front of him that he wouldn't pay attention to whatever conversation was happening next to him. But the voice that just happened to reach his ears, right before the next fan sat down, lodged itself in his mind.
Since it was the same topic he'd just been talking about, he couldn't ignore it even if he wanted to. The fan who had just been looking at him with sparkling eyes was now gazing at someone else, her eyes shining.
Was it just his imagination, or did her expression seem more vibrant than it had a moment ago...?
"Huh? Seju. What? I had fun, though?"
"Nah. I don't think so. Sounds like you didn't have fun?"
"What? I'm telling you I did! It was super fun..."
"Oh. So you had fun without me?"
"Oh. Crazy. Of course it wasn't fun."
The fan's voice quickly rose with excitement at Choi Seju's sudden flirting.
Watching the fan instantly change her tune, Choi Seju, who had been narrowing his eyes as if sulking, finally grinned. Then, as if delivering the decisive blow, he leaned forward.
"That's what I thought. You probably didn't play hard because I wasn't there. Your hand hasn't been touched at all."
"No, it totally was... Hey, what!"
Her eyes widened as he grabbed her hand, pretending to examine the back of it. She twisted her body, acting shy. But she never actually shook off his hand. If anything, it was Choi Seju who let go first.
"Time's up! Please move along!"
"Choi Seju! I love you!"
Instead of answering, Choi Seju raised his outstretched hand and waved.
As the reluctant fan was moved along by the staff, Seju's seat was now empty too. Perhaps finding it odd that no next fan was coming, Seju slowly turned his head.
And at that moment, their eyes met.
"..."
"..."
It was a very brief moment, but enough time for each of them to read the emotions held within.
His answers are boring as fuck. What a loser bastard.
Fuck. Is this a host bar or a fan sign?
Both their heads whipped back around. That was, of course, a figurative expression. Whatever the case, both of them were third-year professional idols. Turning their heads as slowly as possible without making it obvious, smiles soon appeared on their faces as if nothing had happened.
That was right. Like a swan gliding gracefully on the water while paddling furiously beneath the surface, they too were waging a tense psychological war behind their default sparkling smiles.
It wasn't like the bad blood between Han Sawon and Choi Seju was anything new, but both of them knew how to wear masks and appropriately ignore each other at official events.
But perhaps it was because this was the last fan sign of their single promotions, and they happened to be seated right next to each other for the first time in a while? The two were picking fights with each other as if unleashing all the stress they'd been bottling up.
Just moments ago, for instance. Selectively targeting fans who named Sawon as their favorite, feeding them pseudo-romance, and trying to steal their loyalty was also one of Choi Seju's long-standing, nasty habits.
Fine. You wanna go? Let's go.
If swordsmen dueled with swords and students competed with grades, then the way male idols competed was, naturally, in how well they performed their cute tricks.
The judges were, of course, the fans. And those fans would soon move to the next seat, making it impossible not to compare them. It was a brutal arena of competition.
Han Sawon bit his lip.
"Sawon! This is a KuXmi hat, can you put it on?"
"Of course. Like this?"
"Seju. This..."
"Of course I can. Want to hold it together with me? I think the photo'll come out better that way."
"Sawon. Can you read 'Noona, you can't skip the company dinner?' for me?"
"Noona. You can't skip the company dinner? If you go, there'll be too many other guys..."
"Seju..."
"Why would you go to a company dinner and leave me behind? Who told you to go?"
"Hah."
In the end, Han Sawon, forgetting his duty as an idol, let out a sigh without realizing it. Crap. The fan sitting in front of him widened her eyes and asked.
"...Sawon?"
"Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking for a second."
"Yeah! Take your time and think it through. I'll wait."
Sawon smiled and turned his attention back to the desk.
What lay before his eyes was a sticky note decorated with a colorful cartoon character.
These types of quiz sheets, commonly called "Post-its," were a fan sign staple devised by fans to squeeze out as much content as possible in a short amount of time. Simply put, fans would write various questions, and the idol would either pick from multiple choice options or write brief answers.
It had been less popular lately, but there was a time when the problem-solving time took longer than the actual talking time at fan signs.
Idols seemed to be divided on whether they liked or disliked the format, but Han Sawon actually preferred it. Naturally, for an introvert, writing was easier than talking. There was also the fun of looking at the cute little quiz sheets fans put together.
...Which was why today was the first time he'd ever failed to concentrate.
Han Sawon, still trying to shake off the irritating voice clinging to his ear in real time, quickly picked up his pen and started breezing through the questions.
Hertz's Baby Reindeer Sawon♡
Pick the right answer and circle it for me!
— What gives Sawon the most energy when he's exhausted?
□ Lying in bed and recharging
□ Chatting with the members
□ Decibels' cheering words of encouragement
For Han Sawon, whose MBTI test results showed 99% introversion, the honest answer was Option 1. But the correct answer as an idol was, of course, Option 3.
He quickly tucked away his civilian self that would've circled Option 1 without reading the question to the end, and hastily checked the third box.
After that, there were more killer questions scattered throughout that looked cute on the surface but could easily cross a line if handled wrong. There was something almost solemn about the idol checking the memo note with a dancing bear and rabbit, like a soldier navigating a minefield.
But who was Han Sawon? A third-year, first-tier idol. Having been through countless fan signs, this much wasn't difficult for him.
However, the hand that had been flowing so smoothly soon came to a stop.
"...Huh? What did Sawon write here? Hmm. Dog?"
"..."
"Sawon. Why is Seju a dog? Seju's official Hertz animal is a leopard. Well, I guess there are some cat people too, occasionally."
The fan tilted her head quizzically at the scribbled handwriting he'd written without thinking.
Only then did Sawon snap to his senses. He glared at the yellow Post-it note. There, in clear letters, was what he'd just written.
If you were to compare the members to animals?
Choi Seju — Dog
"But don't people usually say puppy? Dog...?"
That was because the word that was supposed to follow was "bastard."
Sawon's eyes widened as he flinched at his own inner thoughts that had spilled out through his hand without him realizing. How could this happen? Making a mistake like this.
But it was fine. This was where the real challenge began. He hadn't fucked up yet! His civilian Han Sawon self had leaked out without him noticing, but he had three years of professional idol experience. He'd somehow manage to salvage this from here.
He slowly pulled up the corners of his mouth.
"Well... Seju's kind of... cu-te. Like a dog... I mean, like a puppy."
"Really? Cute... Hmm. Yeah, he is cute."
"Yeah. I think he looks like one."
"Is that so? But because of his eye shape... Actually, Sawon, you're more..."
"He does look like one."
She tilted her head for a moment, then nodded. Looked like he'd somehow managed to get away with it.
That might have been the biggest crisis moment of his entire idol career. Just as Han Sawon was breathing a sigh of relief, his hand stopped. Once again.
[Each member's phone contact name!]
It was the last question on the Post-it.
Han Sawon had to regret his earlier arrogant thought. What biggest crisis moment?! A truly troublesome question was sitting right there in front of him!
After a long while, Sawon finally set down his pen and handed the note to the fan.
"Here you go."
"Thanks! Sawon! Huh? But... what's this for Seju's contact name? X? Why an X? Does this mean something..."
"Time's up! Please move along."
"See you next time. Let's meet again."
"Huh? O-oh, yeah! You too, Sawon!"
Normally, even when time was up, Han Sawon was the type to always listen to fans until they finished speaking.
But even he couldn't do that this time.
Because the last question on the note was one Han Sawon absolutely could not answer.
Each member's phone contact name!
Unseong — Unseong-hyung
Rimin — Kim Rimin
Gabin — Gabin-hyung
Seju — X
Naturally, Han Sawon's phone didn't have Choi Seju's number saved at all.
